http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/26946/end-of-world-may-21-2011/
Any article about a potential upcoming Doomsday would grab anyone's attention, but keeping the reader involved is the trick. Frank Lake wrote about a new Rapture date prediction, which I find interesting, but it was his use of carefully chosen details, fast-forward syntax, and helpful diction that keeps the reader wanting to know more.
Lake includes a background story of a past End Times prediction made in 2004 by a pastor in New Jersey. After the predicted day (which was his wife 50th birthday) came and went without a hitch, he then "beat his wife to death with a Bible" out of frustration (Lake). While completely unrelated to the current Doomsday prediction the article was based on, this detail gives hint to Lake's beliefs on End Times predictions -- that they're totally false. Even a small detail like this background story can say so much, without really saying anything. Similarly, Lake mentions the current relationship status of one of the believers, saying very simply "[H]er husband left for Vegas to drink and spend his life savings on prostitutes" (Lake). While that information could have easily not gone viral, it clues the reader in to Lake's true opinions.
Clear, straightforward sentences to keep the reader engaged and moving. There's no long, boring sentences, which helps keep the article from feeling long and boring. "May 2012 is over. The Rapture has come and gone." Lake just keeps slapping down facts and ideas, keeping the reader alert and ready for more. There's a bundle of information presented, but it is not difficult to pick up on or understand.
Because details the apparent upcoming apocalypse is not regarded as common knowledge, Lake uses both information and diction to help the reader "see" what is going on. When describing the reaction of those whose Rapture day came and went, he calls them "crestfallen followers", implying through "followers" that they are part of a cult, and that they have "fallen", probably both in social status and their confidence of their beliefs. "Ominous" implies both death and dread, and paints a vivid picture of the predicted doom to come. With a few descriptive words, the reader can better understand the scenario presented, and therefore want to know more.
Nicely done! Just a couple of things, maybe throw in a conclusion at the end to make the piece sound complete! Also, the paragraph on syntax seems a little bit lacking with only one point about the length of the sentences, try to analyze the article more and see if there's a way you can beef it up a little bit! :)
ReplyDeleteYour organization of the peace is done well and it is easy to follow. However,I would talk about the syntax more, and directly address it and say how it adds meaning to the point Lake is trying to make. You also mentioned how he used "fast-forward syntax", but I don't really know that means, so maybe you could explain it, but I could just be completing missing it. I really like the words you chose for diction, especially ominous. I also thought of ominous to imply the fear that people will experience on Rapture day.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tulsi about the conclusion at the end of the piece. I found the explanation for how the details helped give input into the essay really interesting. You explained that section very well and in a way that is easily understandable even without reading your article. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteFor next month, I'd like to see you eliminate your use of the 1st person (no "I," "me," etc.), have a clearer, more ambitious thesis (something related to the author's tone, bias, etc.), at least three pieces of evidence per paragraph, and clear warrants that show how each piece of evidence supports the claim it's there to back up. You are doing well with the basic structure of the essay, use of terms, and your analysis of the work--let's clean up some of the details of argumentation, now.
ReplyDelete